Ode to the Many Woes and Wonders of Summer Camp
by Something Violent and Nasty
Summary: Starscream goes to summer camp, hoping to find some good looking and un-annoying femmes to have fun with. What he gets instead is a totally bad-@ss femme, who may be too hot to handle... Put your sunglasses on and read. I suck at summaries. M for my obvious swearing problem, and innuendo, and user-Starscream.
1. Done Here

**Camp story. Couldn't resist. Includes characters from everything. I mean everything. Mainly just Starscream and the cons. Plus my OC whose name I've been debating about for the last half hour. But I've finally decided. We GOOD. But you don't get to meet her yet. Why should you be special? Be a good little idiot and just wait for it. **

**Also, I'm moody. Get used to that too.**

**And now, a special notice from Starscream.**

**SS: Do I have to? It looks boring.**

**Me: Shut up and dis-claim.**

**SS: You irritate me.**

**Me: Feeling's mutual. Now shut the fuck up and do the dis-claimer.**

**SS: Ugh. 'Kay. Something Violent and Nasty owns nothing but her OC.**

**(OC): Yeah, because I am just too damn sexy and kick-ass for Hasbro.**

* * *

Starscream was done here. He scraped a bit of mud off his pedes and stepped inside. He headed straight up the stairs for his room, where he yanked open a dresser drawer and began hurling random bits of armor into a duffle. He had to get out of here, even if it was to some pathetic camp. Maybe he could find a few pretty things there to make time go faster, but he doubted it. Camps never had anything good to offer. But anything was better than home. With 'make-it-or-I'll-break-it-with-your-face' Dad, 'encourage-them-to-the-point-of-murder-and-they'll-succeed' Mom, and 'I'm-so-high-on-some-nameless-shit-no-one's-ever-heard-of-I'm-practically-flying' Bro, they're wasn't much choice. So, crappy summer camp it was. It wasn't much to look forward too. Just a fun and games camp. Not any math, or studies. A bit of survival tests for the older 'campers', but he didn't see how learning to set a fire or put up a tent could take four months.

One piece of his shoulder armor clanged missed the bag and against his dresser, and he gave a quiet curse as he reached for it. Grabbing it, he stuffed it violently into his bag, shoved in the rest of his armor, crammed a toothbrush, comb, hand mirror (naturally), and some armor polish. Because you never know, Starscream thought, there might be someone there worth impressing. He very much doubted it, but it was possible.

A resounding HOOOOOOOOOOOONK from outside made him jump. He peered out the window cautiously, and saw the camp bus. He ducked down, moaning. He actually considered taking out the armor polish. Because, he thought glumly, who would there be to impress at a place called "Happy Cabins Survival"?! His hand was just reaching into the bag, when his sire's voice blasted from downstairs. "STARSCREAM! MOVE IT, THE BUS IS HERE!"

"I FRAGGING NOTICED!" Starscream yelled back, shoving the polish back, snatching up some last few do-dads, swinging the straps of his backpack over his shoulders, and dashing madly for the stairs.

He catapulted down off the fifth step and slammed through the door. Mom and Dad both managed to hug him without slowing him down as he raced for the bus. How did they move that quickly?!

And then, after them, there was Gearswitch. His girlfriend. His companion for almost three months. She stood shyly, one foot scratching the dirt behind her. She smiled at him beautifully from under her mask. As he got closer, she stepped forward. "Um, Starscream?" she said.

Starscream stared at her. "What?"

"Uh, well," she stuttered nervously, "I just wanted to say, um, don't forget me, ok?"

"I'm dumping you," Starscream said flatly.

Gearswitch froze. Her lip _actually_ quivered. It was almost comical. "You...what?"

"You are pathetic." He brushed past her without another word. He could hear her stuttering out random syllables, and heard a slight catch in her voice. He didn't turn around. The bus doors slid open, and Starscream climbed aboard. The first seat was open, and he tossed his bag onto the seat and hurled himself down on it. (The luggage rack over head looked like if anything over 20 pounds was put on it, it would snap in half mid-journey and send everything down on his head.) Besides, it made a good pillow. He reached casually into his pocket and pulled out his M-Jak. Slipping in his earbuds, he jacked up the volume to processor-damaging levels, and settled back. The bus doors closed, and the engine gunned. He smiled. _Here we go._

* * *

**Yeah. I'm absolutely sick of wimpy, injured, sad, moaning Starscream who is constantly getting beaten up or raped. Nope. In my stories, Starscream is either dying, or a user, or raping someone. **

**USER STARSCREAM. GET USED TO IT.**

**Review now, and I won't have to hunt you down.**


	2. Bus of the Deaf

**Ok, apparently some of you dislike user Starscream. That is your problem. **

**SS: PEOPLE DON'T LIKE ME?! WHY?!**

**Me: Because you annoy them.**

**Designation Drift: YEAH! What about poor Gearswitch?**

**OC: Shut up. Both of you. MEEEGAAAATROOOOOOON.**

**Megatron: WHAT IS IT, HUMAN?**

**Me: Dis-claim.**

**Megatron: Transformers belongs to Hasbro. Something Violent and Nasty only owns her OC.**

**Designation Drift: That was...surprisingly easy. How do you make him do that?**

**OC: Two words. High Grade.**

**Gracias to Moody Flame. Your troll fic is pretty crappy, but it made me laugh, so it's worth mentioning.**

* * *

The bus made several more stops on it's way to the highway. And at each and every one, the horn announced the bus's presence with gusto. Starscream pressed the volume button on his M-Jak, and the horn was lost in the chords of metal songs. They stopped first at a grey house, and a femme got on. He ignored her, even though she was looking at him out of the corner of her optics. Too bulky, he thought. The next at a weirdly pink house, where a large black mech struggled past his mother's hugs and goodbyes and onto the bus. He too was ignored, by Starscream. The rest of the bus snickered at him. The black mech reformed his arm into a cannon. Silence fell. The mech threw himself down on the seat behind Starscream, and instantly fell asleep. Ignore, thought Starscream. So it went for the next fifteen stops. Seven 'Bots and eight 'Cons got on. Only two of them were even half interesting. Disappointed, Starscream sank back into his pillow and extended his long legs across the isle so they were resting in the opposite seat. The occupant didn't say anything. He smirked, and spun through the song list.

The bus pulled onto the highway and Starscream selected "Carry Me Through", his favourite song. He pumped up the volume to the max, and settled back to watch the scenery. The fist few chords of the song were loud, and the throbbing guitar solos were almost enough to induce trauma.

Carry me!

Carry me!

Don't leave me alone in the

DARK!

He tapped his leg in time to the beat. It was pretty rapid. He let his head rest against the cool window, and watched the sun rise in the distance.

I thought you would love me

I thought you would hear me

I thought you would

Listen to me

As I'm screaming

A few thin streams of light wavered through the thick trees, sending delicate shadows across the highway. They flashed over the bus, making it look striped in gold and grey. The effect on his silver armor was quite nice.

I thought you would hold me

I thought you would

Lift me up as I'm falling

I thought I could trust you

I thought I would know you

If ever I saw you

MEET MY EYES!

(Blackbeat's POV)

Blackbeat looked up from his mind-wanderings and stared at the mech sitting in the seat in front of him. The silver-amored 'Con didn't seem to be having any trouble, but the Primus forsaken wail that had issued from his direction was stilling ringing in his audio-sensors. He noted the ear-phones in the mech's ears, but it didn't seem possible for an M-Jak to reach such a volume. The 'Con didn't seem to mind, because he kept tapping his leg in time with the music. Blackbeat shook his head._ That child is going to be deaf by the time he's 20._

(Starscream's POV)

Starscream was totally unaware of the scrutiny of the black mech behind him. His fingers tapped faster as the song sped up to the chorus.

CARRY ME THROUGH!

THE SHADOWS!

CARRY ME THROUGH!

THE WIND!

CARRY ME THROUGH!

MY HEART BEATS FASTER EVERY MINUTE!

CARRY ME THROUGH!

THE DARK!

CARRY ME THROUGH!

OUR LOVE!

Starscream smiled slightly as the song ended. He reached for his M-Jak and pressed the "skip back" button. The metal chords started again. He off-lined his optics, and let the music brutally attack his ear-drums again.

* * *

**I basically kind of just created Blackbeat. No real reason. He's ok. We probably will never see him again. **

**Metal is great. When I'm listening to it, I can't hear a word anyone is saying. It has the added bonus of being extremely loud, with lots of swearing. Perfect for the tube. **

**Review and I won't have to hunt you down with a null ray.**

**OC: You do that anyway.**

**Me: What I do in my spare time is none of your business. Go eat Dark Energon and die. **


End file.
